


A Quote for Any Occasion

by TardisCrew



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Adventure, Angst with a Happy Ending, Doctor not wanting to go on, F/M, Jackie in trouble, Medical Mystery, Rose trying to fix the Doctor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:47:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24933247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TardisCrew/pseuds/TardisCrew
Summary: Jackie gets seriously ill.  The mystery deepens as the Doctor, Jack and Rose try to get to the bottom of what’s wrong with Jackie and how to cure her.  In an effort to save her the Doctor puts himself at significant risk.
Relationships: Tenth Doctor/Rose Tyler
Comments: 22
Kudos: 24





	1. Chapter 1

Alone in the console room the Doctor watched the rotor’s hypnotic up and down motion. Not only did the rotor provide access to the richest source of temporal energy on a TARDIS, it also held the power at the heart of the TARDIS in check by weighing it down to prevent its escape. Of course this was an over simplification as power generation also involved temporal reactors fuelled by artron energy. 

But the point behind the Time Lord’s reflection was the comfort the smoothly pumping rotor gave him.

Of course the rotor sometimes quit working and then his ship was stranded. Although rare, it usually inspired terror because his ship was his home and his transportation through time and space. When that rotor stopped, he was usually trapped in hazardous conditions. If the day came he couldn’t fix his ship he would be travelling the slow path, marooned somewhere he’d probably not want to be. When you were as long lived as he was, that was a scary thought indeed.

To be a Time Lord was to cope with the dragging weight of longevity that made him witness to the cycles of the universe itself. The centuries of destruction, wars and disasters repeated across the stars even as you hoped it would be different this time. Maybe this time they’d learn. You tried to help but often the victories were hollow and too rare and it never stopped. The same cycles repeated themselves over and over. 

Sometimes the weight of it was too much. When it happened to him, when he’d chosen to hide from what he’d done, he went deep inside his ship and stopped fighting the urge to curl up and stop. He thought he could just let go and fade away, stop eating, stop caring. With his systems so depleted he wouldn’t be able to regenerate. 

When he gave into that temptation he’d almost ended it, even lost all his senses except hearing. That’s what stopped his march to final death. He could hear the slowing, sad rhythm of his ship’s rotor and asked himself if he had a right to abandon his TARDIS, take her with him by default, never hear her soothing rotor again. 

It had taken a long time to fight his way back from that abyss. In a way that rotor had saved him. His ship had used it as a life line. Surprised at his maudlin musings he wondered why this memory had triggered now?

Ahhh, of course, it was her. The light bringer was the one who listened to him earnestly, then decided if she would do what he instructed or substitute her own judgement. She was the one who listened with rapt attention to his stories and then told him her own stories of domestic turmoil, school pranks, pathetic teachers, boyfriends gone bad and all the minutiae of her life as though they were Shakespearean dramas. She told her stories with dramatic flare and occasionally tears but usually with self-deprecating humour. And he’d been entranced through them all. When she cried he sat beside her and she would admit that, compared to the stars and his life, her life was unimportant. But she always added the qualifier, ‘so far’.

But she was so wrong because she was already important and so much wiser than her age. She fascinated him, entertained him, held his hand, rescued him and said she would stay with him forever in her innocent heartfelt declaration of unending devotion. He thrilled at her joy when she first stepped out on a new world and her eyes sparkled and she reached for his hand trusting he wouldn’t put her in harm’s way. And then there was her bravery when he fucked it up and she put herself at risk just to save him thinking he would be proud of her.

He was certainly that but what would she think if she knew the whole of it? She was barely twenty and he was centuries older. He was heading down a rabbit hole with her, like a foolish old man who craved her affection and should know better.

Being in his world wasn’t easy. He was moody, unpredictable and sometimes scary. Then there was the very real risk of death through misadventure. All the strays and vagabonds he picked up, just because he might go mad if he didn’t speak to another person, well, they never lasted long and who could blame them? He missed them when they left and it hurt him so he listened to the rotor this night preparing for when she left him. He thought maybe he wouldn’t recover this time. When she left she would send him to the dark place again. It wasn’t her fault. It was his. Like the fool he was he’d let himself fancy her. 

Lost in his thoughts the Doctor didn’t realize the subject of his reflection had not only entered the console room but was standing in front of him studying his face carefully. She softly called his name twice before she stamped her foot on the grillwork snapping him free of his thoughts.

“Rose!” he exclaimed somehow feeling guilty, “what are you doing here?”

“I’m checkin’ on ya,” she declared, “cuz ya haven’t been yourself yeah? I don’t like it when you get all distant, like ya were at supper. It’s like the light in yer eyes goes out and I don’t like it. I want to know why you’re sad!” she demanded throwing her arms around him.

“I’ll be alright, Rose,” he murmured into her soft hair.

Drawing back and looking up at him she pointed out, “You do know you’ve been sittin’ here staring at the console goin’ up and down for ages right?”

It’s kind of hypnotic I guess,” he lamely responded.

“Nope,” she declared looking him over, “that’s not it. You’re sitting here expectin’ the worst is gonna happen and it’ll be your fault so what’s the point.”

Shrugging the Doctor noted, “You’re quite the diagnostician.” He didn’t tell her he had lots of reasons for expecting the worst to happen.

“Anyhow, I’ve come here to give you proper things to think about,” she stated firmly, digging in the pocket of her jeans and pulling out a narrow roll of paper which she unfurled carefully. “I have here a very important list that I have made myself to help you.”

Now curious he couldn’t help but give her his complete attention. “What kind of list Rose? Seems like a long list,” he observed. The list held in her hands had unfurled down to her knees. 

“It is long cuz I reckon you need lots to help ya outta whatever’s botherin’ ya. I have named this list ‘Positive Quotes to help you look on the Bright Side’.”

He couldn’t help his amused chuckle she’d gone to all the trouble of compiling it and thought it could cure what ailed him.

“Alright,” he acquiesced, “hit me with your best quote!”

Clearing her throat, she straightened up and tried to give her first quote the gravity she felt it deserved. Choosing a quote from her list she read it out. “Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results!”

Looking up from her scroll she saw the Doctor’s shoulders were hunched in suppressed laughter. 

Close to giggling the Doctor asked, “You have to tell me Rose, what philosophical Earth genius wrote that?”

Frowning at his reaction and disappointed he thought her choice was laughable Rose consulted her scroll. “It was said by Willie Nelson!” she declared with conviction.

“Who’s he? Never heard of him? I know most Earth philosophers.”

Standing her ground Rose announced, “He’s an American country music star!”

The Doctor collapsed into hysterical laughter as the TARDIS pumped Willie Nelson into the console room. Rose was not amused.

“Lots of people can have important thoughts ya know, even everyday people, and lots of people luv Willie Nelson’s thoughts on things. Who are you to laugh at what he said?”

Still highly amused by the lame quote, not to mention her challenge, he laughed out, “Maybe you’re right about Willie Nelson Rose because I’ll tell you what, your first quote has most definitely changed my mood!”

Then Rose laughed with him feeling she’d accomplished her purpose even if not quite the way she expected. She’d lifted his spirits.

“Come on Rose,” he invited, “let’s go to the galley for tea and biscuits!” He was still chuckling as she carefully rolled up her list of quotes and slipped it back in her pocket.

“Ya know,” she said, “you can act better than everybody else sometimes!”

“Yep,” he said popping the ‘p’, “that’s because I am. I’m a Time Lord.”

Rose rolled her eyes thinking yeah right, a down-in-the-dumps, depressed Time Lord.

Later in the galley the Doctor had to admit to himself that his ever so plucky companion had managed to lighten his mood.

Over biscuits and tea he asked, “So, my amusing companion, I thought you were calling your Mother tonight.”

“Yeah, I did,” Rose answered, “and I’m kinda worried about her. See she caught the flu or something. She says she feels kinda tough and she has a bad cold and lots of aches and pains.”

“Oh, sorry to hear but it does sound like a garden variety flu and it is influenza season. Do you want me to take a look at her?”

“Nah, she’ll probably get over it but I’ll give her a call before bedtime just to check on her. Thanks for the offer though.”

Four hours later the Doctor was in one of his labs working on one of his many projects. He smiled remembering Rose’s earnest recitation of the quote she thought would turn everything around for him. Oh she’d cheered him up just because it was so damn funny but it wouldn’t change his situation. 

Before he could return to his work the TARDIS let him hear his companion.

“DOCTOR! Where are you? Please I need you!”

Instantly standing to attention he knew from the sound of her voice she was both desperate and afraid and running down corridors looking for him.

Telepathically he instructed his TARDIS, “Move me to her.”


	2. Chapter 2

Rose had been to all the usual places but she couldn’t find him and she had to find him. She was running down the corridor calling his name when he slipped though a door into the corridor.

“Here Rose.” Seeing her anxiety and fear he was instantly alert. “What is it Rose? What’s happened?”

“Doctor, please can you take me home? Mum’s powerful sick. I’m scared.” Tears streamed down her face.

Whenever Rose cried his whole nervous system went into emergency response mode fully occupied with remediation so she would stop crying.

“Come on,” he said, taking her hand and opening the door on the other side of the corridor he pulled her through into the console room. He raced around the console and within a few minutes they were landing at the Powell estates.

He intercepted Rose before she could get out the blue doors.

“Rose, tell me what happened on the last call that convinced you things got much worse.”

“Can’t we go ‘n you can see for yourself,” she pleaded. She was agitated and looking at the doors as though planning to wrench herself free and make a break for it but he held her firm.

Giving in she responded, “She was wheezing and it was like she was struggling to breathe ‘n I could hear, hear her chest gurgling ‘n she couldn’t talk. Doctor,” Rose cried, “Mum could barely gasp out, ‘come, now’.”

The Doctor knew even pneumonia wouldn’t have gotten that bad, that quickly.

“Rose, listen to me. That’s not garden variety flu...”

“You’re tellin’ me!” Rose cried out. “Now let me go!”

“No, you’re staying here!” He shook her to get her attention. “Rose, listen. I can run faster and I can carry her here. Whatever she has will be highly contagious and you could catch it. I’ll put her in a quarantine bubble and bring her here. Now you watch the monitor and I’ll be right back.”

Vaulting over the railing he slipped through the door instructing his ship not to let her out. 

Cursing him, Rose tried to follow to no avail so she ran to the monitor and watched the Doctor flying across the courtyard then hurtling up the stairs of the tenement. She forced herself to calm down realizing the Doctor had made the right choice for her Mum. She’d have slowed him down. 

She counted the seconds until she saw him on his way back with her Mum in his arms still in her nightgown and a blanket loosely covering her. It struck her that no one in the Powell estates would stop and question a strange man carrying her Mum away and her Mum had to live here everyday. She, on the other hand, had escaped to the stars with the Doctor, leaving her Mum behind.

He was careful not to jostle Jackie as he carried her inside. Her struggle to breathe was apparent in her bluish lips which accelerated the Doctor’s concern. The blue doors slammed shut as the infirmary appeared beside the console room. With Rose right behind him trying to get a look at her Mum he knew he had to keep her occupied.

“Rose, I need a few minutes to get her comfortable and assist her breathing. Then I will take samples and figure out what microscopic beastie is attacking her systems. I need you to check news reports and tell me if these symptoms are showing up anywhere else in London. Then can you call Jack and find out if Torchwood knows anything. Do they have inside knowledge on this?”

He hustled around Jackie positioning her to make breathing easier and placing instruments to increase oxygen to her blood. Almost immediately her struggle to breathe eased her into sleep. She’d been close to the point of no return and been unaware of her surroundings.

His peripheral vision caught Rose’s hesitation but it didn’t last long and she went to the console to do what he’d asked. 

This was good because he’d deliberately placed Jackie out of Rose’s sight not wanting to upset her until he could stabilize her Mother. Jackie looked a ghastly grey, her skin gone crepey from dehydration and oxygen deprivation but mostly she looked exhausted no doubt from the labour of breathing. He was using non-intrusive technology to breathe for her so she could rest from that labour. But what the hell was this?

Glancing up his hearts lurched to see Rose at the console drawing her roll of quotes from her pocket. She was looking for a quote for herself. Scared for her Mum she was seeking solace from her daft list of quotes.

“Rose,” he called with a soothing voice, “I don’t know where I’m going yet but I’m going to get there.”

Looking at him quizzically Rose thought his statement odd because the Doctor always knew where he was going. 

“A quote?” she asked.

“Clever girl,” he chuckled, “and quite right too! That was Samantha Fish, a very talented blues singer and a dynamite blues guitarist.”

Rose snorted, “I’ll take your word for it Doctor but it’s a shite quote!” Then she turned back to the monitor and carefully rolled up her list.

Well, she might have a point the Doctor thought, but she was still upset and it bothered him. However inept his quote, the truth was he couldn’t offer her reassurance, at least not yet. He didn’t know what he was dealing with and so far he didn’t like the way it looked.

Rose appeared at the door of the infirmary but the Doctor stopped her from advancing.

“Rose, please stay back. There’s a force field at the door. I don’t know what we’re dealing with yet and I don’t yet know how contagious this bug is.”

“‘Kay,” Rose responded but the Doctor heard the fear in her voice, “I just wanted to see Mum.”

“I know Rose and I’m sorry you can’t just yet but I can tell you she’s now breathing easier, she’s sleeping and her color is better. We’ll get to the bottom of this. I promise,” he vowed.

“Are ya using machines to help her breath?” 

“Yes, but non-invasive machines, just a little box that sits on her chest plus I have positioned her so it’s easier for her lungs. Have you got any results yet from your search?”

“Yeah,” she replied, “I couldn’t find any news reports or alerts of any weird respiratory illness. And then I searched London hospitals’ internal communications but the TARDIS says there’s nothing noteworthy or any patterns of respiratory illness developing in any hospitals in and around London.”

“That is odd. How in Rassilon’s name did Jackie get infected?”

“D’ya think I should call Mum’s friends?” she asked. “Mum told me on the phone, before she got real bad, she hadn’t done any hairdressing in over a week and she was worried about makin’ the rent. But I could call Bev and her bridge friends.”

“That’s a terrific idea Rose. Make a record of who was in contact and when and if they noticed any symptoms or if Jackie said anything about feeling under the weather. Oh, and any luck with Jack?”

“He didn’t know anything but said he’d check around and get back to me.”

Nodding, the Doctor’s curiosity won out. “Rose, what quote were you reading?”

Her liquid eyes seemed close to tears but she answered with, “Being challenged in life is inevitable, being defeated is optional.”

“Brilliant Rose and I don’t even want to know who said it. You hang on to that. I promise I’ll figure out what ails your Mum.”

Rose nodded and headed back to the console trying not to notice the Doctor didn’t say he’d cure her. To be fair she realized he couldn’t say that til he knew what it was.

Watching her the Doctor was struck by the strength Jackie had imparted to her daughter. Jackie was tough and had given her all to protect her daughter and teach her values. That was difficult to do when her little girl was surrounded with truancy, pregnant friends, drugs, theft and worse. Jackie kept it away from young Rose even keeping a baseball bat in her apartment and everyone knew she wouldn’t hesitate to use it. She’d raised a daughter who had character and sympathy for others laced with loads of street smarts. All this Jackie had accomplished despite a serious lack of resources. 

He had to save Rose’s Mum.


	3. Chapter 3

Donning his lab coat, protective face shield and gloves, the Doctor prepared a syringe and drew a sample of Jackie’s blood. Carefully preparing his slide he sat to examine her sample.

Now that’s odd he thought. The sample looked perfectly normal. He fiddled with higher and higher magnification but still nothing seemed out of the ordinary. There was no sign of any bacterial or viral infection!

“Rose, did Jackie say anything about getting a blood transfusion some time in the last, say, six days?”

Rose walked over quickly. “Not that she mentioned to me. You’d think she’d tell me if something that out-of-the ordinary had happened.”

“Hmmm,” the Doctor mused, “the thing is I can find no sign of viral or bacterial infection but her lungs are highly congested. The only thing I can think of is acute hemolytic reaction to a transfusion of the wrong blood type. It can produce a range of reactions but pulmonary oedema requiring emergency antibody remediation is one. It’s necessary to counteract the build up of fluid in the lungs that can severely limit their ability to supply oxygen to the body.

Rose was struggling to follow his technical explanation berating herself for being so stupid she couldn’t understand what was wrong with her Mum. She was shaking inside and felt sick but she knew the Doctor was more knowledgeable and skilled than any medical expert on Earth and she rested her faith in him and asked the one question that got to the only point that interested her.

“Is she going to die Doctor?” Her voice was trembling.

“Not if I can help it! I propose taking a pint of your blood from stores. You and Jackie share the same blood type. I’ll draw one pint of blood from her and then give her one pint of yours. If that’s the problem we should see a positive difference in her situation in a few hours.”

“Why ya taking a pint from Mum? Is it like taking a pint of bad blood away and replacing with a good one? What about the other pints of bad blood?”

“Good questions Rose. If the addition of the proper blood type reduces her negative reaction we’ll know we’re on the right track but adding one and taking one pint is more about making sure she doesn’t have too much blood which would make her heart work too hard....”

Satisfied with his ‘too much blood’ explanation she wasn’t interested in the rest so she interrupted with, “Yeah, okay Doctor. Do it!”

With sure swift movements it wasn’t long before the Doctor had completed the transfusion. He knew if he was wrong about the need for a corrective blood transfusion there would be no harm done. Unfortunately he would be back to square one.

Rose was waiting for him, sitting cross-legged on the floor behind the force field. So he folded himself down to sit with her behind the barrier.  
Seeing her forlorn expression he assured her, “Rose, your Mum is resting comfortably. The procedure was straightforward but now comes the hard part....the waiting to see if blood incompatibility is the problem. 

Rose nodded her understanding. “What if it’s not Doctor? What if it’s something else?”

Surmising she didn’t really want to hear the clinical details he tried to comfort her. “If we’re back to square one then we systematically go through analysis of all body systems until we zero in on the problem. Something is causing this. There are many other places to look before we’re beat.”

“‘Kay,” she whispered. “Thank you Doctor cuz I don’t know what I’d do without you. I wish I could hold your hand.”

“Me too Rose but until we know if your Mum’s getting better I have to stick to medical protocol.”

“Yeah, I understand.”

He wished he was on the other side of the barrier with her so he could comfort her. She looked so forlorn and afraid.

“Oh,” the Doctor startled, “Jack’s here!”

Rose hopped up and ran to open the blue door and throw her arms around Jack. The Doctor frowned, irritated with himself that her attention to Jack bothered him. 

“Rosie!” Jack laughed reassuringly, “how’s your Mum?”

“The Doctor has her resting but we don’t know yet what the problem is?”

Hugging her close, Jack reassured, “The Doctor will get to the bottom of it Rose. You hang in there okay?”

Rose nodded, “Thanks for coming Jack.”

“Hey Doc, you two get any info from London hospitals?”

“Hello Jack. Afraid we’ve found nothing that fits the bill in and around London. How about you? Anything from the bowels of Torchwood?”

“Maybe,” Jack said, walking up the ramp, “I got access to CCTV footage, hoping to see who accessed Jackie’s apartment over the last two weeks. Of course she could have picked something up at TESCO’s or some place else but I thought it might give us a clue.”

“Oh well done Jack! Excellent thinking,” the Doctor enthused while giving instructions to the TARDIS. Two chairs appeared for Rose and Jack at the door of the infirmary as Jack went to the console to set up the feed.

Soon they were all watching date stamped footage of the door of Jackie’s flat. The CCTV film came from a surveillance camera across the street and showed the doors on Jackie’s row as well as other floors. They zeroed in on Jackie’s row which was mostly boring until the Doctor had the TARDIS fast forward to stop whenever one of the doors was opened on her row. 

Naturally Rose was the arbitrator of what was important as she knew most of her Mum’s friends and neighbours. On and on it went as Jackie and her neighbours seemed to do an awful lot of gossiping at their doors, gesticulating their ire at whatever neighbourhood violations had piqued their outrage. 

Jack and the Doctor were stretched out on their chairs, arms crossed and long since bored to tears when Rose suddenly shouted, “STOP!”

Jack snapped awake and the Doctor snapped to attention.

“Doctor, can you go back slow?”

Slowly the TARDIS flicked backwards. “Look Doctor. The man at Mum’s door, he’s got some kinda uniform. Can we go back ‘til when he came on Mum’s row.”

They all watched intently as the images flicked back. 

“What’s a National Health Service worker doin’ visiting my Mum? They don’t do house calls.”

Raising his eyebrow the Doctor hooted, “Probably it’s not an “official” house call if you catch my drift!”

Rose scowled at him knowing exactly what he was implying.

Jack sobered them both up with his observation. “That’s not the NHS logo. It’s fake, the wrong color. Now I wonder why and what’s he carrying in his hand?”

“Good catch Jack!,” the Doctor crowed. “Now, just in case this guy was at her door for another reason we should watch the rest of the recordings for anyone else suspicious. If no one of interest shows up then let’s review the rest of the rows to see if this guy came from one of the other flats.”

Rose scowled at him. “You think he’s just at Mum’s for a legover! It’s not easy for my Mum ya know. I’m pretty much gone now and she’s alone with no one to help her. What’s wrong with wanting male company?”

He could see he’d upset her and no wonder considering the circumstances but she’d misunderstood. 

“Rose, I’m not making a moral judgement on your Mother’s interests. She’s free to associate as she pleases but by trying to nail down whether this is an imposter from the NHS or just a ‘male friend’ visiting we can hopefully find a clue to help your Mum or eliminate a suspect.” 

“I’m afraid the Doctor’s right Rose. This guy is a possible lead in our mystery,” Jack explained, “‘course maybe the uniform is just part of a role play!”

“JACK!” Rose protested.

“What do you mean, role play?” the Doctor asked.

Rose just groaned, “Gawd, poor Mum!”

Jack teased, “Come on Rose! It is kinda funny!”

“What’s a role play?” the Doctor asked again.

“It’s when you pretend to be someone else during sex play, like police officer and prisoner or Queen and slave or then there’s the real kinky stuff.”

“Bloody humans!” the Doctor muttered.

Curious, Rose asked, “Are you a prude Doctor?”

His gaze captured hers. “I am not but what’s the point of this ‘role play’ if it’s not even well played, if it’s just tawdry with no imagination and effort.”

“Well la, tee, dahhh,” Rose opined, “guess Time Lords just do it better!”

Although her reply was sarcastic, the Doctor could tell she was keenly interested in his reply because her eyes did not shy away from his. She wanted to know if he’d deflect or answer her.

“We do,” the Doctor stated with firm conviction. Their eyes had not left each other since the exchange began.

Jack, seeing the byplay between them, laughed knowingly. If he was any judge he’d say the Doctor wanted Rose but held back out of his sense   
of responsibility for those in his care. 

But Rose was very special and were it not for her devotion to the Doctor he would have pursued her. Whenever he’d gotten too close the Doctor had managed to block him. He would never go against him but no harm in nudging him towards making a move. Otherwise he feared his friend would lose her and suffer as a result.


	4. Chapter 4

“Jack,” the Doctor asked, “would you mind going to Jackie’s place and see if you can find whatever that bloke had in his hand and bring it back here. Best to apply quarantine conditions to gathering it up. Might as well have a quick look around for any clues too.”

“Sure Doc!” 

Jack knew he shouldn’t provoke the Doctor but he hoped to spike his friends’s jealousy and hopefully prompt him to finally make a move on Rose.

“Rose, maybe you should come too? You know your Mum’s place,” Jack asked.

Jack didn’t miss the Doctor’s frown but his ruse didn’t work because Rose’s mind was preoccupied with her Mother. 

“I would Jack, but I need to stay with Mum yeah?” Rose explained. “But if anything seems odd, just send me a picture from your phone and I’ll see if I can figure it out.”

“Of course,” Jack replied, knowing he’d goosed up the Time Lord anyway, “I’ll send you anything unusual.”

“Jack,” the Doctor directed, “don’t take chances. Wear protective equipment in there, including on entering.”

“Doc,” Jack laughed, shrugging, “I’m immortal!”

“Doesn’t mean you can’t give it to someone else or be immortally sick! Think about that!” the Doctor snapped.

Cockily Jack saluted the Doctor then he was gone. Noticing Rose was watching Jack on the monitor, the Doctor assumed she wished she could go with him which began a spiral of self recrimination as he reminded himself what an old fool he was for his feelings of jealously.

Unexpectedly she came over and sat cross legged at the barrier. Curious, he joined her.

“Everything okay Rose?”

“Any change with Mum Doctor?”

“It’s only been seventy-eight minutes Rose. Too soon to tell I’m afraid,” he sympathized.

Rose nodded, not surprised. “Doctor, if Mum doesn’t,.... if there’s nothing can be done to save her...can you....would you stay with me ‘til I can bury her proper. I know you’d want to be on yer way but can ya stay?”

The Doctor was surprised and pleased, not that Jackie might die, but clearly Rose wanted his comfort, his presence in her time of need. But maybe he was mistaken.

“Of course Rose, I’ll stay with you,” the Doctor reassured, “hopefully we’ll get this sorted long before anything like that becomes necessary, but I thought you’d want Jack for that, not me.”

Rose looked puzzled. “Jack’s a dear friend and he will be invited to the funeral but he’s not like you. You sure you’ll want to ....help me I mean? It won’t be too much bother...mostly it’ll be...”

Interrupting her the Doctor reached for her hand out of habit and drew it back quickly when the forcefield squealed biting his fingers. 

“Rose, I’ll be with you if it happens. I wouldn’t dream of being anywhere else. And you, young lady, are commanded to ask me for whatever you need. You hear?”

He was never so happy to see her tremulous smile and her shoulders relax as the distraught look on her face finally left her. Hoping never to see her so upset again, he didn’t fail to notice his own relief that he was the one she turned to first.

Suddenly she reached in her pocket and looked at her phone to see Jack had sent a picture of Jackie’s apartment.

She turned her phone to show the Doctor and gasped, “Oh no!”

“What Rose? What do you see?” the Doctor urged.

“Look Doctor, see the baseball bat! Mum keeps it by the door but it’s on the floor in the lounge. Oh, this is not good, not good at all!”

“What does Jack say?”

He says he found a box ‘n it was open and there’s some kinda jelly stuff inside.”

“Rose, tell him full isolation protocol and then get back here straight away and have him make sure no one gets in that flat!”

At the three hour mark the Doctor saw no improvement in Jackie’s condition. He would give it two more hours before he moved on to other options. 

Jack hadn’t yet returned and Rose was still reviewing CCTV footage of other rows of flats near Jackie. He frowned realizing they were getting nowhere. His tech was helping Jackie breathe but that wasn’t addressing the underlying problem. If he didn’t get to the bottom of this Jackie’s decline would only get worse. He started to organize and prepare for another series of exploratory tests.

Finally Jack returned and they all gathered together at the barrier to the infirmary eager to share Jack’s news. But Rose interrupted wanting to first share her news with the group so as to defend her Mum.

“That fake NHS bloke was only in Mum’s place for twenty minutes so I doubt there was any role playin’ or any other kind of playing,” she insisted.

“I think that’s right Rose,” Jack agreed, passing what was an open but quarantined sealed box and lid through the barrier to the Doctor who explained the barrier only allowed items to pass one way, in but not out.

“Why do you think that Jack?” the Doctor asked.

“There’s no sign of any fooling around Doc. Jackie had a cup of tea by her chair and a questionnaire. I surmise her visitor gained entry with a simple request to participate in a NHS survey. The questions themselves seemed pretty standard stuff all oriented around NHS services and performance standards. I’m not a questionnaire expert but why couldn’t they just mail it out? Anyhow I’ve got someone finding out if the NHS is in the field with a questionnaire.”

“Good Jack. What about the box?”

“Yeah, that’s a mystery. To be fair, we can’t really tell from the camera footage what was in the bloke’s hand so we can’t assume the box came from him. The questionnaire definitely wouldn’t fit in the box so we’re finding out if their survey representatives were handing them out and what was in them, but, Jackie could have received the box in the mail.”

Jack was right. Their only suspect might well be an innocent bystander and the Doctor clenched his fists and jaw in frustration. Where had Jackie’s illness come from and what the hell was it?”

“Jack, did you see indication Jackie was already sick? Like a waste bin full of tissue, or throat lozenges in the lounge?

“Thought of that Doc so I checked around but no sign at all in the lounge. But the bin in her bedroom is full to overflowing. She probably wouldn’t have let the NHS fella in if she felt ill. So it’s reasonable to assume she got sick after he was there. The thing is I don’t think we can assume he infected her.

Happy her Mum had been vindicated, Rose observed, “It may not prove it was the NHS bloke but so far it narrows it down to him or the box. Guess we better find out what the goop in that box is Doctor.”

“You’re right Rose and it’s next on my list.” 

Turning back to Jack he asked, “What about the baseball bat?”

“I can’t say for sure why the bat is on the floor but it appears no one was hurt.”

Rose piped up, “Mum could well have carried it with her to make a point when she let the bloke in but seeing it was all on the up and up maybe she leaned it against her chair and it just fell but I wonder why she didn’t put it back by the door.”

“That does seem odd,” the Doctor agreed. “Was she already feeling unwell, maybe decided to go lie down?”

“Maybe but we’re not likely to know for sure until Jackie wakes up. Rose, anything else on the footage look interesting?”

“Nah, I couldn’t find anything.”

“Right, I’m off then,” Jack declared, “I’ll be back when we get news from the NHS.”

After Jack left, Rose again sat at the infirmary barrier to keep the Doctor company and to understand what he was doing. Most of the time the Doctor’s look and demeanour was casual and relaxed. His tie was always loosened and the top button at the neck of his shirt was undone. His gorgeous hair mirrored his look with a lock or two of his lustrous strands bouncing over his forehead. 

He was tall and lean and moved with an easy grace but he was deceptively strong and sharp as a tack. Rose figured he might be the smartest person in the whole universe. But now he was stumped but she knew he wouldn’t give up. He never gave up. She just had to be patient and let him work. 

It gave her comfort to know if he couldn’t get to the bottom of this, no one could and she would have to accept her Mother had come in contact with something that was fated to take her life. If that happened it would shake her for a long time but for now she was going to plan. She was going to be ready and do right by her Mum. Squeezing her eyes shut to steady herself she turned her attention back to the Doctor.

As always his hair reflected his mood. He’d pulled it into taffy tufts that betrayed his frustrated state. 

“Doctor,” she called softly, “‘Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent’.” 

His back was to her but she saw him pause and carefully set down whatever was in his hands. His stance was oddly rigid as though she’d cut him. She played back her quote, angry at herself for the unintended insult.

“A quote to tell me not to give up? Are you giving up on me Rose Tyler?” 

“Nope,” Rose said cheerfully, “I know you Doctor and I know you don’t give up. See my quote was just the start of what I was tryin’ to tell ya. I know you’ll do everythin’ you can for Mum but I want ya to know, I’m never gonna blame you if ya can’t find what ails Mum or even if ya do find what’s wrong I’m not gonna think it’s your fault if you can’t fix it.”

Turning to face her he confessed, “Thank you Rose. I appreciate that and I hope you know I’ll be gutted if I can’t find a way to help your Mother.”

“Course I do Doctor. You put up with a lotta guff from Mum but I know you respect her and, even if ya didn’t, I know you’d never give up on her cuz you’re a Doctor and she’s your patient and I know how you respect that hippo oath thing.”

He gave her a lopsided smile running his hand through his hair. “The thing is I can’t find any pathogens anywhere in her body that could be causing this.”

Trying to help him Rose offered a suggestion, “D’ya think she mighta been exposed to some chemical or vapour that damaged her lungs?”

“That’s very good Rose, very good thinking! I’m running a sample from her lungs against a chemical assay screen right now hoping something turns up. I’m confident now that the blood transfusion issue is not the cause of what ails her.”

“What about something like food poisoning or just plain poisoning?”

Sighing the Doctor replied, “It’s definitely not food poisoning, as for any other kind of poisoning my chemical assay should pick it up.”

“Well,” Rose smiled, “look on the bright side. At least being on Earth we’re not lookin’ at somethin’ alien, like in the picture books. You know the ones with the dramatic illustrations and captions like, ‘Attack of the Killer Alien Robots’. Or what do they call them, those tiny little alien robot things in yer body?”

“Nanobots?” the Doctor grinned but then his face transformed into puzzled consideration and from there to shocked realization as he swung around and yelled for her to move back. 

He ran to the wall and slammed the panic button. An alarm sounded. Isolation doors slammed shut around the infirmary barely missing Rose as reverse air pressure blew past her into the infirmary sucking the breathe from her body.


	5. Chapter 5

Catching her breath, Rose jumped up, yelling, “What? What is it Doctor?”

But the Doctor couldn’t hear her so she pounded on what was no longer a force field but solid glass isolation doors. Looking around and seeing her trying to get his attention he flipped a switch and Rose heard his voice through a speaker.

“I’m okay Rose. It’s just that your example of an alien technology crystallized something for me. See that jelly like substance in the box from your Mum’s could well be used as a medium to safely transport nanobots.”

“Okay but how ya gonna know for sure?”

“I have to pull out the big guns,” he explained, his voice tinged with urgency, “the vastly more powerful scanning electron microscope.”

“Rose, I want you to review the footage again, the period BEFORE the NHS guy up to the day your Mum told you she felt ill. Look for someone in that period who walked by your Mum’s door, maybe bent to tie a shoelace so he could leave the box. Whoever left it might have knocked after placing the box and then watched from someplace nearby to be sure no one else picked it up.” 

“Okay Doctor,” Rose said shakily. Knowing there was no point in asking him questions until he did his tests, she reluctantly went back to reviewing footage.

Studying the scanning electron microscope results, the Doctor’s worst fears were staring him in the face. Jackie Tyler had been infected by nanobots! They were generally used to repair at the molecular level but not these bots. They were programmed to kill and would not move from her body until she was dead. 

To make matters worse, by artificially assisting her breathing, all he’d done was guarantee the bots would move on to another system they could attack and for Jackie that was bad. He wasn’t surprised to confirm what he suspected. They were navigating towards her heart. There was only one way to help her and he had to act immediately!

“Rose,” he called.

“Here Doctor. Did ya find something?”

“Afraid it’s not good news,” he bluntly confessed.

“Go on then Doctor,” Rose replied bracing herself for the worst. One look at him told her there were tough choices ahead.

“Your Mum’s lungs are infested with nanobots. The fact is that by artificially assisting her breathing I’ve encouraged them to move on to her heart. These beasties are programmed to kill. I have to act now and what I have to do might make it worse.”

He could see how hard she was working not to betray her fear, trying so hard to be brave.

“I have to mimic her death so the bots will leave her body. That means I have to stop her heart just long enough for them to leave and then start it again once she’s free and clear. I’m going to lower her body temperature to give me precious extra moments before I have to restart her heart.”

Putting his hand on the glass separating them he continued, “Rose we’re running out of time. I need your decision within minutes. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Meeting his hand with her own she looked him in the eyes and spoke firmly. “Doctor, you go on then and do it. Just do what you think best. If it doesn’t work you did your best and you need to remember that please.”

With a grim nod the Doctor returned to his tasks. Rose’s heart was in her throat as she returned to the console and tried to focus on her task. Her Mum might be dead within the next half hour but Rose knew she was under the best possible medical care. 

Struggling to stay focused on her footage review eventually she did find someone passed her Mum’s apartment, left the frame briefly, and then kept walking by. Not long after, her Mum’s friend was leaving her flat and noticed the box. She picked it up, knocked on Jackie’s door and handed it to her. 

Although Rose couldn’t see the box in the feed because the neighbor’s back was to the camera, it was easy enough to connect the dots. She was the one who innocently handed the box to Jackie. The man who’d left it she didn’t recognize but with Torchwood facial recognition they might get to the bottom of it.

Sitting on the console bench, her job done, she tried to control her anxiety. The Doctor had turned off the speaker to avoid distraction so she sat waiting and hoping. 

By the time the Doctor flipped the speaker back on Rose was ready with tea and biscuits, the only calming remedy she knew for bad news . The TARDIS materialized his share into the lab.

Her heart was in her throat as she waited for his verdict. She was determined not to betray her reaction if it was bad news because she knew he would feel he’d let her down. She didn’t want to make it worse for him.

Finally he stood in front of her with a wide smile. Your Mum’s resting comfortably Rose. Her lungs will clear over the next couple of days and the procedure worked with no damage to her heart.....Rose?”

Rose had been policing her reactions so tightly she’d given no response whatsoever to the good news. But once she replayed his words in her mind she hopped up and down in delight.

“You did it! You did it Doctor!”

He smiled at her joy. “I have her sedated for now until her lungs are all clear.”

“Thank you Doctor. Thank you so much!”

“My pleasure Rose.”

As he stood sipping his tea she had a niggle something wasn’t quite right. The Doctor would never lie to her about her Mum. Did he find something else about her condition? No, he wouldn’t keep that from her but something was wrong. He seemed uncharacteristically subdued.

Before she could get to the bottom of it Jack burst through the TARDIS’ door obviously returning with news.

“Hey Rosie, your Mum better yet?”

“Thanks to the Doctor,” she smiled.

From the infirmary door the Doctor nodded a welcome asking, “Jack, is the coast clear in Jackie’s apartment for you to transmat her there. I’d like her to wake in her own bed. She’s more than leery of my old girl. No sense in alarming her. We’ll break the news to her once she’s up and about.”

“Sure Doc, I can get that sorted. As to my news, the guy with the questionnaire was legit. The insignia wasn’t fake, just designed for the team they hired specifically to do spot checks on the questionnaires. The NHS like to verify reaction to their questionnaires with a small representative sample. Geez I bet Jackie terrorized him! But it’s a dead end I’m afraid.”

“Maybe not Jack,” Rose enthused, “thanks to the Doctor we found out who left the box. Have a look.” Rose pulled the monitor around and ran the film. Jack took over the controls and with some fiddling he managed to get a freeze frame of the stranger’s face.

“I know that face!” he announced startled at recognizing the suspect. “What was in the box?”

“Nanobots!” Rose said, “They were programmed to kill Mum!”

“Why the hell would Torchwood want to kill Jackie with nanobots?” Jack asked more than a little stunned.

“To attract my attention,” the Doctor declared. “Jack, are you able to make quiet, subtle inquiries? You have to be careful. If this is a rogue branch of Torchwood they could really hurt you!”

“Yeah but they can’t kill me,” Jack grinned. “I’ll take Jackie to the flat and leave from there to investigate.

“I’ll go too Doctor and get Mum all set up and comfortable.”

The Doctor raised the permanent quarantine wall allowing Jack to get Jackie and transmat up to Jackie’s flat. Rose followed by foot promising the Doctor she’d be back as soon as she got her Mum 

Satisfied her Mum was sleeping comfortably tucked up in her bed Rose knew she’d wake feeling much better. So, with her Mum resting easily, Rose left a note for her saying the Doctor had fixed her up and she’d be back to check on her.

On the way back to the TARDIS Rose felt so lucky. The Doctor had come through just like always. He’d gotten those robot bugs outta her Mum with his usual brilliant stroke of genius. She’d forgotten to ask him how he’d corralled those nanos. As she walked along, she found herself wondering how he’d gotten them back in the box. You couldn’t see them ‘cept under an extra powerful microscope.

Remembering her sense of something being wrong just before her and Jack left, her uneasiness returned. How had he recaptured them? Maybe with one of his many amazing devices. He’d said the bots in her Mum wouldn’t stop until she was dead cuz they were programmed to kill and he’d been the only one near her Mum when they left her body. Oh my gawd did they go into him and he was there all alone?

In a panic, Rose raced across the courtyard. She burst into the TARDIS calling his name and running up the ramp.

“Doctor! Doctor! Why are you still in the infirmary?”

He stood there, still and calm, with a bland smile. “Just cleaning up and following protocol Rose,” he said calmly.

But Rose was not fooled. His eyes told the story, a story of resigned surrender and she wasn’t having it.

Intending to walk right up to him she was stopped by the new forcefield he’d erected. With her hands against the barrier she challenged him. 

“Why are you still quarantined? You’re not telling me the whole truth. Please Doctor tell me what happened to those robot bugs?”

“You can’t always put the genie back in the lamp Rose and you can’t just put the bots back in the box?” He shrugged.

Her hands flew to her mouth in alarm. “They’re in you?” she gasped.

He nodded and she saw in his eyes what she’d been seeing for the last couple weeks. The light in his eyes was not there and it made her afraid.

“Doctor, not telling me something or hiding something on purpose is just the same as lying. Why didn’t you tell me this would happen?”

Sighing he once again sat on the floor on his side of the barrier. Rose joined him. 

“Rose,” he sighed, “how could I ask you to make a choice between me or your Mother?” 

Captured by his eyes, Rose was reminded that they were truly windows to his soul. In this frozen moment the Doctor’s eyes reflected centuries of experience with the cruel choices he’d had to make yet they were full of his compassion for her.


	6. Chapter 6

She put her hand on the force field barrier. “You didn’t want me to have to make the same decision you had to make, to decide who lives and who dies,” she whimpered in realization.

He nodded. “And I didn’t want you to have to live with your decision Rose.”

“How long? How long before you’re affected?” Rose cried.

“Sooner than your Mum most likely. I have a faster metabolism,” he explained listlessly.

“But, but you’re talkin’ like it’s the end, like you won’t regenerate! I saw the last time yeah ‘n it was like fire with all that energy shooting out of you. Won’t that just burn up the bots?”

“Not sure Rose...maybe, maybe not, depending on the construction of the nanobots. If they survive I’ll cycle through the regenerations I have left.”

To Rose that information was staggering. Knowing the terrible pain he experienced during regeneration the thought of it happening over and over until he died was just too much and it drove her desperate search for an alternative.

“Why don’t you know what they’re made of? It’s not like you, especially since you said you looked at them under the super microscope?”

Sighing he explained, “Didn’t have time Rose. I had to act to save your Mother.”

Frustrated by his attitude Rose tried to calm her thundering heartbeat as she studied him. He was giving up and she realized he was giving in to the sadness she’d sensed in him for over a month now. That was the issue she had to sort straight away.

“Doctor,” Rose pleaded, “you’re not even trying and I know you’d find a solution if you’d just try. Did you know, Doctor, that everyday when I’m waiting to see you I’m so excited I get butterflies in my stomach? But now it feels like my heart’s breaking, like all the butterflies are dying because you’re giving up!”

With her two hands on the barrier her eyes pleaded with him. “Doctor, ‘cept for Mum, I’m used to people giving up on me. It’s nothing new for a girl like me from the estates. Please don’t give up on me but, even if you do, I’m not giving up on you! Please Doctor tell me why you’re sad, why you’re giving up? Please!”

Startled he met her eyes. “I’m not giving up on you Rose. You’re brilliant and you’ll have a brilliant life. It was my honour to share the stars with you and my pleasure to see you blossom and grow,” he sighed scrubbing his hand down his face. 

“I’m sorry Rose but for someone like me, someone with perfect memory of what I did, of all those I killed, all those I’ve lost, it’s a constant wrestle with guilt and regret. I can’t sleep, so many nights with no sleep and no one to dull my memories for me. I’ve tried. I’ve fought hard for so long but recently I find I just can’t carry it anymore. I’m tired of living with it and of being alone. I tried Rose, I really tried and then...”

He looked her directly in the eyes. “See I found the only escape from it was hoping for things I shouldn’t, foolish, so stupid of me. I even broke my rules only to find it was yet another painful trap for me. See it hurts when you have someone in your hearts but you can’t have them in your arms.”

Tears rolled down her face and she made a choice. He’d said things could pass into the infirmary but not out so she pushed mightily against the barrier between them. 

Alarmed the Doctor shouted, “Rose, stop it! What are you doing?”

With all her strength she finally burst through the barrier and with her hands on her hips she announced, "Now listen up Doctor! We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are! And you always try to do the right thing Doctor, even Gallifrey, even when it hurt you so bad!”

Then she threw herself in his arms. “Yes, yes you can have me in your arms Doctor!”

He remained unresponsive and after a bit she said, “It’s gonna be real embarrassin’ if I find out it wasn’t me you wanted in your arms!”

“Rose, what have you done? You’ve exposed yourself!”

She stepped back looking up at him and stepped out further on a limb. 

“When someone truly cares about you they make an effort, not an excuse. If you’re gonna die, I’m going with you because I love you and you’re not dying alone!,” she sobbed.

“Oh Rose,” he breathed, scooping her up in his arms and hugging her tightly to him. “Of course it’s you!” 

After several moments clinging to each other he asked, “Was that a quote, the bit about darkness and light being in all of us?”

“You bet it was and you’re never gonna guess who said it...J.K. Rowlings!” 

“Good ole J.K!” he murmured, hugging her tight. 

“Well then,” Rose smiled, “give me some of those bugs!” 

She pulled him down by his tie. The Doctor didn’t refuse her lips nor did he refuse her when she brushed his lips with her tongue and her warm body molded into his.

Rose had imagined being in his arms like this many times and he did not disappoint. He felt so good to her but something still wasn’t right and it wouldn’t be right to continue without sorting it. 

Slowly she broke the kiss but she stayed close to him, still in his arms. Looking up into his eyes she touched his cheek lightly.

“Doctor,” Rose whispered, “something’s wrong isn’t it? Please tell me what it is. If you need me to do something, maybe something your species needs just ask me okay?”

The yearning there in his eyes just about broke her. He wanted her. Of that she was sure just by the way he held her like he would never let her go. 

Haltingly he explained, “I need a telepathic connection Rose...I thought maybe ....maybe because you’re so empathic I might manage but...” 

Her heart broke for him. She knew he’d been alone for a long time but Rose hadn’t realized just how alone the Doctor was nor the full tragedy of his circumstances. But she didn’t let him go.

“Are you going to leave me now Rose?” 

Looking up at him it broke her heart to see he was as close to tears as she’d ever seen him. 

Still in his arms with no intention of moving she declared, “I’m willing to eat robot bugs for you! Do you really think I’m gonna hit the road cuz we’ve hit a glitch?” She poked him in the chest several times for emphasis.

His handsome face lit up like sunshine and his arms tightened around her. 

“See, I’ve got an idea to solve our problem,” Rose declared.

“You do?”

It didn’t escape the Doctor’s attention she’d called it ‘our problem’ and not his problem. She wanted to help them be together and she was tenacious. 

“Yep, seems I have to think of everything!” she quipped with her tongue touched smile and her eyes full of mischief.

“Well you are brilliant so let’s hear it then!” 

Rose’s arms were still locked around his shoulders and it felt so right to him. 

“Well, I was thinking,” Rose started, “I know it wouldn’t be as good as being with someone of your own kind, but maybe you could enter my mind, ya know, when we’re getting warmed up, and then you would know if I would, if I would be suitable.”

Swaying her in his arms he murmured, “Rose there is nothing unsuitable about you. My physical requirements are not your fault.”

“Yeah, I know but what if you entered my mind? D’ya think it would work?”

Although he was quiet and didn’t answer straight away, Rose felt a change in him like his hearts jumped a bit. She knew he wanted to shout yes but as usual he denied himself in favor of what he thought were her boundaries.

“You sure Rose? You don’t have to, especially since I know you are dead set against sharing minds.”

“I was yeah. I thought it was a bit creepy but your people were pretty advanced and they thought it was natural and normal so I guess I should try it before I criticize it! Plus, maybe it will help us. I just wish I could be more, ya know, like one of your kind, so you could be whole, not be alone.”

“Don’t Rose, please. Don’t you dare think you’re ‘not enough’ in anyway. You are the bright light in my life. And I confess I very much want to try your idea.” 

With a shinning smile Rose nodded enthusiastically. Running his hand through her hair he was so grateful for this slip of a girl with such heart, such bravery. 

“Thank you Rose,” he softly whispered, “here we go then.”


	7. Chapter 7

She heard him sigh when he slipped in her mind and then she felt his euphoria and then she heard his thoughts in her mind, but not just his thoughts, she felt the feelings that accompanied his words.

“Rose, my people need the certainty of the inner being, not just the outer face which can be false. We’re a bit cowardly, in a way, not able to just take a chance. Your kin are much braver than us, always willing to take that leap of faith. Thank you Rose, thank you for allowing me to share your mind....it’s like I can see and hear again!”

“Nothin’ that special about me Doctor. I can’t fathom my mind makin’ ya feel like yourself compared to another Time Lord,” Rose reasoned.

“Oh, Rose not at all. See the place in my brain where my telepathy is centered has been dark, closed down and it makes me feel empty, handicapped. It feels like not having your sight or having a severed limb. Your mind in mine has lit up that dark space like fireworks. Your thoughts are warm and bubbly and I see you Rose. I see the core of you and it is good. I have never before perceived another so gloriously,” the Doctor enthused and Rose knew he was being honest with her.

“Blimey, it’s kinda special then innit? I’m chuffed that it’s helpin’ ya but it seems like it’s more than just speaking words in our minds yeah?”

“Quite right Rose. See, my type of telepathy is more than just thinking words in another’s mind. Time Lord telepathy perceives the emotions and intent that accompany the thoughts shared. As such it’s not easy to deceive the person with whom you are communing.”

“Yeah, yeah, that’s what it feels like. I’m sure I felt joy from you, like you found something important you’d lost. But you said other Time Lords can quiet bad memories. What else can telepathy do?”

Rose’s question distracted him from his surprise that she could perceive his feelings but that wasn’t new for Rose who had an unerring ability to do so without telepathy.

“Quite right Rose. We can do other technical things with our telepathy. In addition to softening traumatic memories, we can detect medical issues, dampen pain receptors and link minds together permanently.” 

“But is it gonna work for us so we can be together?”

“Yes! It’s going to work thanks to you!”   
“Rose?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I sleep in your mind? I’m so tired.”

“Yeah, ‘course ya can but, well, there is the issue of the nano bugs!”

“I just need a couple hours, there’s time, no worries and fair warning, I’ll probably wake up frisky.”

“Typical bloke,” she grinned, rolling her eyes, “go on then, and ya better not wake up dead!”

Lying on a mattress the TARDIS had materialized, he snuggled into her and fell instantly into sleep. But Rose wasn’t tired and just wanted to enjoy holding him realizing just how difficult it had been for him to truly rest. 

She couldn’t help reflecting on her mind-sharing experience. His mind hummed in hers still and, to her surprise, it wasn’t creepy. It was more like a soothing presence close to her. She found it comforting but even more remarkable she knew her mind was fortifying his like a steady pulse of reassurance for him. Happy to help him in this way, she found herself blissfully content to just lie awake enjoying his contentment.

As her mind drifted she wondered what would have happened if he’d had a mate, a proper Time Lady mate, before the Time War. He might have been convinced not to sacrifice Gallifrey and then the whole universe would have been enslaved by the Daleks and his planet destroyed anyway. At best he’d have been on the run and still not have escaped the guilt. Probably it would have been worse as he died inside, bit by bit, forced to witness world after world destroyed.

It occurred to her that the Doctor stood alone now at the centre of time, a monumental figure in this universe’s history, yet very few knew he was even there! There was no doubt in her mind he’d done the right thing. She couldn’t help but wonder by what stroke of fate she’d found her way into his life and his affections. It was a hell of a lottery she’d won as far as she was concerned. All she knew for sure was she loved him and intended to stay with him forever, assuming the bots didn’t get them first. 

Not being familiar with Time Lord telepathy Rose didn’t know her thoughts were drifting through the Doctor’s mind as he peacefully slept, his body and mind fully relaxed and at rest. The empty space hurt no longer. 

In many ways they were better than having another Time Lord quiet his bad memories because Rose saw what he’d done as the right thing to do! It wasn’t her forgiveness so much as her understanding there was no other choice. She’d understood the alternative would have cost so much more. Then there was the astonishing corroboration he found in her mind that she loved him and would not leave him.

When he drifted awake he sighed and stretched shaking off his deep sleep. “Do you like it Rose, me being in your mind?”

“Ya know I do ya plum,” she said.

“Say it in your mind Rose, please.”

“‘Course Doctor, still gettin’ the hang of it is all...but I like it...feels real nice, it does.” This time she thought the words in her mind.

Sighing in pleasure the Doctor explained. “I just wanted to feel your thoughts, make sure it wasn’t just a dream.”

She kissed his cheek. “I’m glad you feel like you’re supposed to and as for me....” Rose paused as if trying to remember something... “‘A mind stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions’ so I reckon you should just stay in my mind and you won’t be sad anymore.”

“Blimey Rose, how many quotes did you memorize?”

“Quite a few,” she laughed, “I was real worried about ya so I put a lotta work into my list yeah?”

With one leg slid between hers and one arm behind her shoulders he looked down at her. “Thank you Rose, you’ve made me better!” 

Cocking his head to one side, his eyes piercing into hers, he asked, “Why is your heart beating so fast?”

Instantly Rose blushed, the heat flashing upwards and down over her chest, all of which the Doctor watched with a knowing smirk. Playing innocent he teased, “Is that flush for me Rose? Are you by any chance feeling frisky?”

“You’re makin’ me feel frisky aren’t ya? You’re doin’ it with your mind aren’t ya?”

“Didn’t take much of a nudge, truth be told. You were already waiting, anticipating,” he purred knowingly.

Running his finger over one of her clavicles he whispered, “I love this part of you Rose. It’s so beautiful. Your clavicles frame your neck and beautiful face showcasing those lovely, toned shoulders and breasts.”

He felt her desire spike and teased, “You know Rose my people taught us, ‘desire is the absurdity that leads to defeat and error’”

Looking up at him with heat in her eyes, Rose was totally enthralled by his hair, running her fingers through his luxurious strands. “No offence,” she said, “but that’s total rubbish!” 

“How so?” he asked, blowing soft puffs of cool air near her left breast, “my people....”. 

“Were obviously repressed,” Rose interjected, “cuz everybody knows ‘desire accomplished is sweet to the soul’! What do YOU think Doctor?” she whispered.

She could tell he was enjoying the combined mental and physical stimulations so she waited to hear his come back.

“Rose Tyler, you are a cornucopia of quotes, an encyclopedia of sayings and I love it! You know I love a good challenge!” He slid his hand under her shirt, his cool fingers stimulating her nipples to taut alertness, “As to what I think, I believe, ‘Desire, like the atom, is explosive with creative force’,” he purred in her ear.  
  
“That’s way better than the rubbish your people were tryin’ to flog,” she hissed, her eyes drifting closed as she enjoyed his deft touch.

“Too true. They wanted to control the young ones, indoctrinate them. Another favourite was, ‘a desire scorned and neglected is an enemy lying in wait with bared dagger’.”

As he bent to stimulate her erect nipples with his tongue he wondered if she’d have a come-back for him. He loved her pluck and the game they were playing. It was helping him to control his pressing need to have her. He didn’t want to scare her!

“One must not lose desires!” Rose whispered, running her warm hand over the front of his trousers and her tongue around his ear. He felt her surprised pleasure before she completed her quote, “They are mighty stimulants to creativeness, to love and to a happy life!” 

“Oh Rose, that’s my favourite!” he groaned as she slipped her hand inside his trousers and down his belly until she touched him.


	8. Chapter 8

“Shhh,” the Doctor whispered, as he removed her hand from inside his trousers and rolled his body partially over hers. 

“I want to linger,” he soothed brushing his thumb over her bottom lip, “to savor being with you.”

Caressing her face the Doctor followed the soft curls of pale honey hair that wisped around her amber and gold-flecked eyes, softly curling around her ear and the skin of her neck. 

Her eyes were rimmed with thick, long dark lashes that brushed her cheeks every time she closed her eyes. He’d learned to read her emotions without telepathy because they danced like fire in her eyes. Now they were smoldering embers watching him.

He knew she was ready for him but this first time it had to be his way or it would never be sustainable at the deeper level his species needed. But he trusted her and he was willing to grab the chance his golden girl was offering him.

Rose could tell this was more than sex to him. So she stilled letting herself live every detail, every second of it. She opened her mind and all her senses were alert to him. 

“That’s it Rose, that’s right, give yourself to me,” he whispered. 

She felt the puffs of his breath tickling the hairs near her ear and her body shivered into goose bumps. She surrendered to the sweet imprisonment of his body covering hers and to the intent she saw in his handsome face. Drowning in his eyes and his intoxicating scent, her senses were flooded with him and she didn’t care that she was overcome by his control over what happened next. 

As he twirled a lock of her golden hair in his finger he whispered to her, “Rose, there is a rare and beautiful kind of intimacy that sparks when someone understands your mind. I never thought I’d ever experience it again but to do so with you is something I will never forget. I want us to feel this intimacy together.”

Her eyes welled liquid at the raw timbre of his inner voice and she knew it was the truth. With her hands buried in his hair, she knew what he wanted although he’d not said it.

“You want me always in your arms. You want to be utterly revealed to me. It’s only then I can fully understand you and accept you. Am I right Doctor?”

“Oh yes, Rose Tyler. It’s the only way I can truly know you accept me without reservation. I want you so close to me that no third person need ever apply. But I can never have that until you’ve seen my inner face and I know you accept me.”

“Okay,” was all Rose said and the Doctor knew she would do whatever he needed.

Her eyes rolled back as he flooded her mind with his memories. All the day-to-day bits flew by and she couldn’t hope to keep up but he slowed the display for some events to show her detail. He was telling her she could see the less important bits if she wanted but the slowed down events were the ones he thought might affect how she felt about him.

“Doctor,” she complained, “ya can’t just show me the bad bits without context and the bits you think are unimportant are the most important because they show who you are day-to-day. But, never mind, cuz none of it is gonna change my mind.”

“But Rose, how can you know if you don’t see it?”

“Well, I already know you always blame yourself when something goes wrong, even if it’s not your fault, and apparently you make it your fault in your memories too! And it’s not like I haven’t already seen you really angry but only when you’re driven spare yeah? Plus it’s not your fault you have to protect the time lines or make terrible choices to save the many over the few. See, it makes me sad that your role in the universe so often means you pay the price, so I don’t want to see anymore. I already know you.”

She kissed him softly and reassured him, “Doctor, I saw your memories all those terrible scary times you stood alone fighting to right the wrongs and defeat the monsters but I didn’t see you do anything just to get even or out of spite or revenge, and even if you had, well, everybody does that sometimes. People learn and they get better. You’re not a bad person Doctor!” Rose declared, hugging him tightly.

Staring at her the Doctor asked, “So none of what I showed you changes your mind about me Rose?”

“Nope,” she smiled, “so, I guess you have to troll through my life now. I don’t know how to make it display like you did,” she shrugged. “I’m warnin’ ya it’s gonna be bloody boring.”

“Not to me Rose. I want to know what made you so perfect.”

There was nothing boring about Rose’s life to a starving Time Lord. Holding her in his arms, he watched the beautiful curly-haired little girl grow and her insatiable curiosity and inquisitive nature grew with her. Under the care and watchful presence of loving parents who didn’t have much, Rose’s dreamer father fed her curiosity and excited her imagination. Their impoverished circumstances didn’t make young Rose bitter rather they fueled her empathy for others. Her mother protected her, taught her common sense and always to share with others.

He saw her crushed by the death of her father yet she tried so hard to be a big girl for her mother, only letting herself cry at night so she didn’t make it worse for her Mum. He wished he could go back in time and tell her she was going to be so amazing when she grew up but of course he couldn’t. Then he saw a pivotal event in her life. Her first ride on a red bike her mother had saved all year to buy her for Christmas had provoked young Rose to dream of adventures. 

One night she snuck past her sleeping mother with her red bike. It took half an hour for her to get her bike down the stairs. But when she got on that red bike she sped through the night as far away as she could peddle. 

Experiencing the event through her memories, which were vivid and clear, the Doctor could feel her excitement and the thrill of freedom that coursed through her. He felt the wind on her face and her hair blowing back under the moonlight. She had a destination in mind and she’d waited patiently for a full moon on a clear night so she could take her thrill ride. 

Finally she arrived at a large empty field and sped to the middle of it and jumped off her bike. She got on the ground, flat on her back, and looked up at the stars and made a young girl’s fervent wish that one day she would travel to see those stars close up. She was a traveller and an explorer and she knew it in her heart. 

Of course she got in serious trouble from a frantic mother about to call the police but Rose took her punishment and never, ever forgot her wish. 

Throughout the years of growing up, through school dances, her friendship with Mickey, lousy teachers, school yard dramas the Doctor understood she had a giving heart that never wavered even when others hurt her. And she was tough. She stood up for herself when she was wronged. Jackie had given her daughter spine. And throughout it all, her young heart yearned to see the stars. 

To his surprise there was one memory she was hiding and one block he could not penetrate without hurting her. If he didn’t know better he’d describe it as a telepathic shield. His telepathy told him she was not aware of the block nor her resistance to disclosing that one memory. He would leave it be for now, knowing neither were about him.

Briefly he worried her youthful wish had made her ripe for the picking when he came along. An alien who took her to the stars and made her dream come true couldn’t help put fuel her infatuation with him. But she’d been put to the test. Any romanticism she’d had was burned away by the reality of their missions’ risks and sorrows. Thankfully her infatuation had matured into a deep trust and love for him. He made his decision. She was perfect and he would never accept another. 

Whatever he’d needed to resolve she sensed he was decided so she drawled, “So, did I pass muster?” 

“With flying colours. You are perfect,” he declared.

The Doctor had explained that seeing the truth of each other was the only way to have true intimacy and trust. Blimey he was right because she felt him at rest, at peace that he’d found the mate he never thought he could have. He was all she’d ever wanted but if she hadn’t been willing to share minds with him she’d have eventually lost him. She didn’t know where she’d end up but she knew he would always there beside her. 

Then she heard his husky, almost gruff voice roll through her mind . “Oh Rose, there’s so much more.”

Before she could respond, his mind filled hers with a roiling tsunami of his hunger for her. All the times he’d wanted her, imagined taking her, all the ways of pleasure he wanted to show her felt like the actual act itself. It all raged in her mind and body setting her on fire. 

The intensity of his mind was staggering. No longer did he need to hide his true feelings for her. His wild, urgent need for her was revealed and it drove her frenzy for him. He was game for anything that would please her. He only had one redline. There would be no one else for either of them. 

She was barely aware she was tearing at his clothes, seeking his flesh. Her need provoked a frustrated growl from him and he stood and stripped naked so fast he was a blur. Standing naked and powerfully aroused, she couldn’t stop staring. He was so far above her ideal of male beauty all she managed was reaching for him, whispering please.

He broke, flicking her jeans open and tugging them roughly down her legs, then, reaching for her knickers, he tore them away. Soon she was naked with her legs drawn up and opened for him. She was reduced to whimpering for him. 

His black eyes watched her flushed face and ragged breathing. Her total surrender came because of the way he was looking at her which was every bit as intimate as the way he was stimulating her and she threw her head back and bared her neck to him. Any control that remained quickly dissolved into her needy wail for him which he answered with instant gratification. Her thoughts splintered as he thrust into her. Instantly her toned thighs embraced him and she locked around his thick length. 

The fire and ice that was their joining fused them together in sensual devotion. Thrusting into her heat inflamed his Time Lord telepathy which hurled them into the starry expanse where their climax displayed as an exploding star. Still feeling the vertigo of the experience Rose clung to him determined to never let him go. She knew there was an unbreakable connection between them now.


	9. Chapter 9

“I didn’t know it was going to be so incredible Doctor! I meant what I said ‘bout not lettin’ ya die alone but, well, after being with you, and now with our new connection, I kinda wish we could live. I don’t know how to restart your hearts and I’m not gonna let you restart mine so how long d’ya think we have Doctor?”

Eyebrows crunched together in confusion the Doctor rolled over from his post coital sprawl. “What are you on about Rose?”

“The bugs, the nanobugs! Honestly Doctor, how could you forget we’re infected!”

“Oh that, yes, I guess we need to do something about that,” he nonchalantly agreed.

Incredulously Rose sat up demanding, “You don’t have to stop our hearts when we get bad?”

“There is another way,” he nodded caressing her breast but she shook him off. “Why didn’t you use it on Mum?”

Finally he sat up to explain. His warm eyes captured hers. “In your Mum’s case I had to act quickly. For us, I had to build a special device, another way to kill the bots. I was afraid you might have gotten infected. I couldn’t let you die Rose! I built it when you and Jack left.”

He cupped her face in his hand. “But I’m glad the way it happened or we would never have fully committed to each other. You were willing to sacrifice your life for me just so I wouldn’t die alone. You saved me by letting me in your mind. I have every reason to live now Rose!”

Her wide smile warmed him but suddenly a stark reminder of their jeopardy was revealed when Rose barked out a croupy cough bad enough she rolled onto all fours struggling for breath.

Leaping to his feet, completely starkers, the Doctor was soon studying lab instrumentation while Rose got her cough under control and studied his bum.

“Best stay away from the Bunsen burner Doctor.....wouldn’t want to singe your bits,” Rose giggled.

Racing around the lab the Doctor appeared in front of her with a peculiar helmet ordering her to put it on even as he donned his own.

“You look daft ya know,” she snickered. The helmets had peculiar springy antenna and he was naked.

“Maybe so Rose but get that helmet on. I’m sending an EMP through the infirmary to kill the nanobots. Electromagnetic pulses don’t hurt human tissues but they will kill the bots. They’re programmed for lungs and heart but if under attack they will try to escape to the brain which is the most protected part of the body. The helmets will prevent them from hiding there.”

Not needing anymore convincing Rose cinched the strap on her helmet tight as the Doctor flipped a switch. 

Several minutes later the Doctor shut off the EMP and verified the nanobots were dead with his sonic screwdriver. He also verified his lab equipment hadn’t been scrambled thanks to the countermeasures he’d put in place. 

As soon as they removed their helmets the Doctor breathed a sigh of relief as his connection with Rose’s mind reactivated. Then he raced to get his clothes on.

“Best get your kit on Rose. Jack is on his way. Oh and your Mum’s on the phone.”

Scrambling to get dressed Rose called out, “You okay Mum!”

“No, I’m not okay! His nibs may have got rid of whatever I had but my own daughter dumps me in bed and leaves. I need tea!”

“Mum, ya know that’s not what I did. I left a note. Besides I caught it too but the Doctor just finished treating me. I’ll be there in a few to make ya some tea.”

Once off the phone Rose smiled widely touching her temple. “I can sense you with me again Doctor. It’s nice. I gotta go but I won’t be long. Let me know if ya need me when Jack gets here yeah? And don’t even think of leaving without me!”

“Any other orders?” he inquired but he was smiling.

“Not at the moment and besides ya got no excuses now,” she laughed tapping her temple, “cuz you only have to think it and I’ll hoof it back here.”

She slipped her arms around his shoulders and kissed him sweetly.

“Wouldn’t think of leaving without you Rose!”

While waiting for Jack the Doctor extracted a blood sample. Examining the dead nanobots under the scanning electron microscope, he didn’t like what he saw.

“Doc,” Jack called, running up the ramp. “I found the guy in the video!”

“Here, Jack. What did you find out?”

“He was just the delivery boy and had long since learned not to ask questions. Apparently the box arrived in his inbox with instructions not to open it and to immediately deliver the box to Jackie Tyler.”

“I’m not surprised Jack. I’m guessing the sender intended the bots for me but didn’t know how to reach me so had it delivered to Jackie knowing if she got sick I’d show up and I’d get sick too.”

“That’s not all Doctor. I don’t know if it’s related but he said there’s something big going on at Torchwood One because everyone is running around and buzzing about some big scientific discovery but he didn’t know the details.” 

“What in Rassilon’s name are they up to? Jack, these nanobots are made from Dalek materials.”

“Jezzuz Doc! Looks like someone wanted you out of the picture!”

Nodding the Doctor asked, “Which Torchwood are we talking about?”

“Torchwood One is located at Canary Wharf headed by Yvonne Hartman.”

“I want to go in low key, through the ductwork if necessary. I don’t want them to know I survived.”

The Doctor moved quickly to the TARDIS console hacking Torchwood systems to find out what they were up to and then to pull up schematics so Jack could zero in on the coordinates that would place them where they could have a closer look.”

“Jack they’ve got an alien ship with unusual properties in their hold. If the Dalek’s are involved, Torchwood may not be aware. I just don’t know Jack so I’m cloaking the TARDIS and leaving her here and we’ll use shields and the vortex manipulator to get in undetected.”

Together they settled on the coordinates and as Jack programmed his vortex manipulater the Doctor called to Rose. 

“I’m going with Jack to Torchwood at Canary Wharf Rose. Before you race back here and leave your Mum, there’s no need. I’m leaving the old girl here. Jack and I will transmat there to sniff around. We’re not sure but it’s possible the bots came from there. My sonic will tell me a lot. We’ll be back within the hour to pick you up.”

Knowing the Doctor’s ‘snooping’ rarely ended without fireworks Rose hesitated but in the spirit of their new connection she agreed knowing Jack was there to watch his back. However, she pointed out if she didn’t hear from him she’d head to Canary Wharf. 

“Doc, what’s wrong?” They’d made the jump and from the hatch in the service duct where they were hidden they had eyes on the massive hold in Torchwood towers where a very strange sphere hovered. But the Doctor was in pain.

“It’s the time lines, they’re going crazy Jack, snaking all over the place!” His eyes were squeezed shut and he reminded Jack of someone with a bad migraine. “Time is changing! Give me a minute.” 

Jack watched his friend struggling to put it together as he stared at the object, scanning it and the room. But he ended up focusing on the white wall behind the object.

When the Doctor turned back to face him he was ashen faced. Jack saw fear in his eyes.

“Jack, that’s a void ship, that’s bad, very bad because the bots probably came from there.”

“But, but that means there could be Daleks in there?”

Nodding grimly, the Doctor continued. “Long story short that ship came from the void, the space between universes. There, in the centre of that white wall there’s a weak spot and these Torchwood idiots have made it weaker, allowing that ship to push through the barrier into our universe. Torchwood is planning on fully opening the barrier! If that’s not scary enough for you, there’s something big behind that wall waiting to come through and it’s not good! We have to fix it. Now!”

“How we going to that?” Jack calmly responded, his cool under pressure response was a reassurance to the Time Lord.

“I’m going to weaken the wall just enough so that when I reverse the polarity on the void particles covering the Void ship, it will slam it back through the barrier into the void. Hopefully the reversed polarity will prevent anything else from coming through. Then, with your vortex manipulater, I’m going to jump back in time to intercept the data transfer that this ship sent from the void to tell these idiots how to do this. Then I’m going to patch and triple strengthen this weakness in the barrier between worlds!”

“What I don’t get Doctor is why would Torchwood blithely send a box full of nanobots to someone else without first studying and identifying what was in the bloody box?”

“If that ship is full of Daleks they could have just materialized the box directly into the deliveryman’s inbox. Remember they could have easily hacked Torchwood systems, just like I did, and figured out how to bypass Torchwood management.”

“Okay, makes sense. So, we have a plan and it’s just another day at the office for us then!”

“Not for me,” the Doctor rasped. Jack noticed his hands were shaking. “Jack, if the Daleks hadn’t sent the bots and I hadn’t returned to Earth early to help Jackie, Torchwood would have opened the void and it would have lead to an invasion. Jack I can only see glimpses of that time line but enough to know I would have lost Rose and Jackie.”

With his hand sympathetically on the Doctor’s shoulder Jack nodded. “Let’s get it done then Doctor!”

“Yeah, and before Rose gets suspicious and comes here.”


	10. Chapter 10

Jackie felt guilty thinking her daughter got sick because she’d returned home at her request. Feeling better and now breathing normally she still felt weak as a kitten as a result of her ordeal. It didn’t stop her from enjoying Rose’s company since she rarely got her undivided attention when the alien was in the room. Still she owed him and knew she might have died without his help.

Content to fuss over her Mum, Rose knew she’d almost lost her. So she gave her a heartfelt hug and helped her into the lounge, fluffed pillows on the sofa for her and swaddled her in blankets making sure the telly remote was close at hand before she made the tea and brought her nibbles. Rose did not dissuade her Mum from thinking she’d caught a bad case of influenza. If her Mum knew she’d had nanobots, she’d blame the Doctor and Rose didn’t want to deal with that now.

Watching the time on the sly, Rose sensed that something was off, not quite right. It was oddly disturbing like expecting something to happen that didn’t.

Jack and the Doctor jumped back to the TARDIS, hacked back into the Torchwood computer banks and zeroed in on when Torchwood had first received the instructions from the void. Then they jumped back in time with the vortex manipulator, entered the TARDIS, and erased the information from all Torchwood data banks.

“Rose,” he called to her mind, “we managed to stay out of sight but I needed a piece of equipment so we transmatted back. Jack and I are heading back to Torchwood now but we’ll be shielded and out of sight, so no worries. I won’t be long.”

“Hold on Mister,” she instantly responded, “you gotta give me more than that. What’s going on?”

“Well, in a nutshell the bots came from the void because there’s a weakness in the barrier between our universe and the void in one of the Torchwood holds. Since the bots are dead now I’m going to strengthen the barrier so nothing else can drift in. But I can do that from our hiding spot.”

Again Rose hesitated. It wasn’t that she didn’t believe him but she couldn’t shake the feeling that things were not quite right. “So this barrier is kinda like the rift in Cardiff?”

“Yes, quite right Rose. It’s a good analogy.”

Rose could feel his pride in her when he answered. Sometimes she didn’t feel his emotional reaction when he spoke in her mind because his answers were simply factual and, therefore, neutral. Other times they were personal to the two of them and his emotions were crystal clear and powerfully poignant. Those answers made her feel joy. But sometimes his answers were guarded and she felt he was shielding his emotions to protect her. But she was getting better at distinguishing them and soon she’d be able to read even more subtleties. 

“Doctor, please let me know the minute you’re back again yeah?”

“Will do. Won’t be long.” His presence in her mind dimmed to a hum.

Although he hadn’t told the whole story, the Doctor hadn’t lied either, at least not technically. Terrified he’d lose her if she came to Canary Wharf, he’d fudged just a bit to keep her safe. He felt sure she’d forgive him when she understood the whole truth. They were connected now and truthfulness between them was important so he’d done what was necessary hoping she would still permanently bond with him.

Back in their shielded location the Doctor explained to Jack that Torchwood had built levers to open and close the void. Part of his plan was to fry the circuitry and make it look like an electrical fire. With any luck the construction would mostly melt and trigger fire alarms. Because they’d gone back in time to erase the ‘how to’ transmitted from the Dalek ship, no one would remember what they’d built or why.

“Got it,” Jack nodded, “but don’t we have to get rid of the Dalek ship first and doesn’t that mean we have to be in the hold?”

“I do but not you. I need you to scramble the cameras that have eyes on the hold and signal me when it’s done. Then I enter the hold, find something to hang onto, reverse the polarity, watch the ship sucked back into the void and then change the polarity back. Then I’ll fry the Torchwood controls and finally strengthen the barrier.”

“But Doc, how can you do all that if you’re in danger of being sucked into the void yourself? What about if I fry the Torchwood levers? Then you could adjust the polarity as soon as that ship is outta the hold?”

“Okay Jack. Good idea but you have to wait until that ship is safely back in the void. I’m worried that as soon as the cameras go out everyone will come running and you won’t get the chance. You’ll have to run a continuous loop of the empty hold to the cameras to buy us some time.”

“Okay, not a problem Doc.”

Back at the flat Jackie had drifted into comfortable sleep. Rose stripped Jackie’s bed remaking it with crisp, clean sheets and then washed up all the dishes accumulated during Jackie’s illness. She would have been content to stay were it not for a steadily increasing sense of dread that something was wrong, that the Doctor was in trouble. Springing up from her chair she left her Mum another hurried note and left the flat racing down the stairs, across the courtyard and into the TARDIS.

How the void could shriek the Doctor didn’t know but one part of his brain made a note to figure it out later. But there would be no later. He’d botched it! He’d successfully reversed the polarity but the Dalek ship was resisting slowing its steady pull towards the void. His polarity regulator had been ripped from his hand and flown into the void. Now he had no way of increasing the force of the pull not to mention sealing the breach. To make matters worse, he would soon be unable to hold on. He’d underestimated how long it would take to get rid of the ship and over estimated his strength. If only he’d brought a magna clamp. He was going into the void.

Racing up the ramp Rose put her hands on the TARDIS console and begged. “He’s in trouble! Please, please take me to him!”

Suddenly she saw the buttons and levers light up in the order she needed to follow. 

He was shielding his mind from her but he had to say goodbye. “Rose,” he called, “are you there?”

“Of course I am you daft alien! I’m coming for you so you hold on!”

“No, Rose, don’t, just don’t!” he screamed in his mind.

“You listen to me Doctor. What I’m doing is being there when you need me because I love you. That’s what I’m here for. Now shut up cuz I’m rescuing you and you’re in for a big surprise!”

When he heard the sound of the universe fill the hold his hearts sank. The last TARDIS and Rose would be drawn into the void. But when the blue doors slammed open he saw his last chance. Letting go he screamed, “Press the big purple button beside the monitor!” 

Then he slammed into the ramp and the doors shut but he knew Rose had smashed the button before he’d called to her. Struggling to his feet, with one arm and shoulder useless for the moment, he got himself to the console just in time to see the Dalek ship finally sucked into the void. But the TARDIS stayed put. The purple button had increased her resistance to the pull tenfold. He had time! Quickly flipping the right switches he reversed the polarity, sealed the void and strengthened the barrier. 

Calling Jack he demanded, “What’s your status Jack?”

“Job done Doc. The levers are puddles of melted plastic and electronics but I gotta go. They’re coming!”

“Excellent Jack. Ditch the feedback loop. It’s time to bug out! I’ll be in touch as soon as I can. And Jack, thank you!”

“My pleasure Doc, see ya on the flip side!”

Still favoring his one arm, he took the TARDIS into the vortex asking Rose, how she managed to fly the TARDIS. But Rose was full of surprises and when he turned to her she was crying and before he could react she sobbed out, “I’m sorry I lied to you Doctor. I just couldn’t tell you!” 

“What? About what Rose?”

He moved them to the console bench and put his good arm around her shoulders. From his point of view whatever she was on about was unlikely to be serious. Rose was an honest person. 

“Go on then Rose. What’s got you upset?”

“Well,” she started, “remember you said sharing our minds was necessary so we could, you know....be together, but then you said we had to be honest with each other when mind sharing?”

He remembered the two areas of her mind unavailable to him. If he needed any proof of her honesty it was this. Her conscience was troubling her and her honest heart was about to confess if he was any judge. 

“Go on then Rose. I’m listening,” he softly encouraged.

“Something happened to me when I was 16 and I didn’t want ya to see it cuz I was so ashamed.” She paused breathing in, trying to settle herself. He soothed her by running his hand up and down her back.

“Mum doesn’t keep that baseball bat by the door in case of robbers. It’s there cuz one day, when he gets outta prison, the guy who raped me is gonna come looking for me,” Rose paused waiting for the Doctor’s reaction but he cradled her rocking her softly and Rose was reassured. 

“I was young and stupid and couldn’t see what a loser he was. It was great ‘til I moved in with him. He tried to control me, wouldn’t let me go out. I tried to get away so he beat me, raped me and took all my money. I was badly hurt. But my Mum came with the baseball bat and got the coppers and ambulance there. I was in hospital and had to go to court. Anyhow his name is Jimmy Stone and he’ll come lookin’ for me when he gets out.”

Her young heart filled with gratefulness when he folded her in his arms and rocked her gently. He didn’t blame her! 

“I’m sorry Rose for what he did to you. What doesn’t change is how much I want your forever. I won’t let him hurt you or Jackie again.” 

After a few minutes she continued, “There’s something else Doctor. See, after you took the vortex outta me I’ve always had the feeling I’ve forgotten something. Sometimes I remember the words ‘Bad Wolf’ but I don’t know what it means.” Rose yawned deeply, her eyes betraying her fatigue.

“We’ll figure it out later Rose. First, before you get to bed, I would like to be yours by oath and for you to be mine by oath. My people call it bonding.”

“Me too Doctor,” she sighed happily yawning into his neck. “I’m goin’ to bed but more than anything I would love to be yours! Don’t be long Doctor.”

He smiled knowing her confessions had cleared her conscience so she could sleep. Now, one more thing to do before he could sleep in her arms.

His dream was so wildly extraordinary he couldn’t quite fathom it. Like some portent of disaster he found it uncommonly terrifying which was bizarre because he didn’t get terrified normally. He was a carrier of terror. He giggled maniacally in his dream at his clever observation. Odd, but he felt cold as though a wheezing turbulent storm of frigid wind was blowing. 

He blinked his eyes open to darkness and wind. Crap he couldn’t still be dreaming but a dark figure stood in his cell with a long coat swirling in the turbulence and he somehow knew the figure was ancient. Shaking his head, struggling to clear his mind of the dream, fear coursed through him like ice. Was the devil come to claim him so early?

With terrifying clarity, a voice as icy as the swirling cold, asked, “Are you afraid of dying?” 

That’s when Jimmie Stone screamed and fainted.

The Doctor just smiled with the certain knowledge he’d made the punk soil himself. Dragging him into the TARDIS and dropping him on the ramp he set his course. 

When the bad seed woke the blue doors were open, the Doctor had him by the neck, and Jimmy Stone was whimpering in fear as he dangled in open space in full view of the Dragon nebulae. 

“If you hurt Rose Tyler or her Mother again I will throw you into open space and watch your eyes and lungs burst out of your body.”

He squeezed until the punk passed out, took him back to his cell and threw him out the blue door returning to the vortex and Rose’s bed.

She stirred snuggling into him. “You okay Doctor?”

“Never better,” he murmured.

“You know Doctor, lots of people want to ride the limo with you but what you need is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. That’s me.”

“A quote Rose?”

“Yep,” she giggled, then proudly confirmed, “Oprah Winfrey!”

The Doctor laughed out loud. “Ahh, another great philosopher!”

“Rose, I have to do a lung transplant on your Mother because of the damage from the nanobots.”

“Guess ya got some explainin’ to do in the mornin’”

“Oh no Rose! I do the operation, you do the explaining.”

“We’ll talk in the mornin’,” she murmured.

He knew he’d be facing Jackie in the morning but he didn’t care because Rose was going to bond with him. Before he drifted off he idly wondered which bit of news would cause the most explosive Jackie reaction - the need for a lung transplant or Rose bonding with an alien. 

The End


End file.
